Return and be Changed!

Okay guys I feel like the Lord's been putting some really good stuff on my heart to share for this season right now and so I've took some notes to keep me on track recently I was in worship and that song reckless love of God came on and my heart just got so moved I started to weep and weep to sat the revelation of the love of Jesus and how he's just relentless in his pursuit for me and chasing me down in the deepest darkest places over and over again and it was just a place that had kind of been untapped for a while in my heart and as that was going on the Lord spoke to me and said return to your first love won't you return to your first love and in that place he started to talk to me a lot about my heart and he was talking to me about how he wants more time with me just intimate one-on-one time and he said Nicole I want to recover your heart and I thought I was an interesting choice of words so I looked up what recover meant and it means to return to normal state of health mind or strength to regain possession retrieve reclaim or redeem and I thought that was just amazing that the Lord was speaking to me that he wanted to redeem and reclaim and repossess my heart and I recently read the scripture in Malachi 3 that went along really well with that and it's talking about how the Lord is coming as a purifier and a refiner so that so that we may present to the Lord offerings and righteousness which I thought was really amazing and then the Lord says to Israel return to me and I will return to you and when they asked the Lord how how do we do that he accuse him of robbing him of his tithes and offerings and to start giving the tithes and offerings again and as I was reading that the Lord was just kind of dealing with my heart and it I just started thinking wow like they're they're speaking of monetary things and practical things on this earth but what about offering our heart to the Lord like are we not robbing him when we put up walls in our hearts against him when we don't give him that intimate time of fellowship that he sent Jesus to die for he longs for us there's a scripture in the Psalms that says we were his coveted dwelling place he coveted to dwell inside of us so isn't it like her robbing God when we don't give him that intimacy in that fellowship and that friendship that he so desires from us I thought that was incredible when I read that and then I went back to revelations 2 where the Lord is speaking to the Church of Ephesus and I'm just gonna read it it says he says but I have this against you that you have left your first love therefore remember from where you have fallen repent and do the deeds you did at first or else I'm coming to you and remit will remove your lampstand out of its place unless you repent so what stood out to me and that I did some studies on that it says that you've left your first love it doesn't say that we lost our first load it's it's it's speaking at a church us as well it doesn't say that we lost it it says that we left it which signifies a gradual moving away from our devotion and fervor and intimacy and desire for the Lord and that just really convicted my heart because all just from the years of life and all the things that have happened that has definitely happened in my heart over the years just a gradual loss of the things that I did at first and I remember I would take communion every day I would get on my knees every doing today and just adore him and everywhere I went I was just in sweet fellowship and sweet communion with the Lord asking him what do you say about this person what are you saying about this and prophesy and it was just it was just like that elated place of being so in love and I really feel like that's what he's calling us back to and something else that really stood out to me is that the first 12 disciples were called it says in mark for two purposes and it was firstly to be with Jesus and then it says to send them forth to preach and I think the order of their appointment from the Lord was just so so key first and foremost they were called to just be with Jesus and secondly they were called to go and preach and I feel like that going and preaching is just a fruit it's just a byproduct of that time that we're called to have that just to be with him and so in in that I feel like we're just the Lord is really calling us to remember those things that we did at first and repent which really just means in the original language a change just change our minds and go back and do those things that we did at first and in that I don't meet I don't think that it's meaning do more like serve more do these things because the Church of Ephesus was it even says that they were known for all those things that they were they persevered and they served and they did all these things but I think what it's really talking about is to return to that place of intimacy with the Lord so that those things that you once did would just be overflowing out of your life so in this time of the Lord is really dealing with my heart with intimacy and returning back to that first love in that intimate place with him I surprisingly enough have just kind of been wrestling with him a little feeling like he's speaking --less or showing me a little less of what's to come I'm used to seeing things in a few from the time that I spend with him and in that place I told him god I just feel like you're not speaking like I need vision I need to see and he gave me a vision that I feel like is for really everyone right now he showed me this mechanic that was working really deep in an engine and he was like rewiring things and fixing things and then he showed me another vision of an electrician that was like putting wires back together that needed to go back together and the Lord said I'm doing a work in you that can only be done when I am closed and he asked me Nicole are you willing to allow me to do this work that is so deep and so close that you might not be able to see for a time and I said yes Lord do it God and I feel like that's really what he's asking us in this time will you be close with me and really always I don't think you ever ever graduate from your intimacy with Jesus that is our first and foremost call I know that but it's really a time to just be close with him return to that intimacy and allow him to do a deep work while I was meditating on all this recently I had a dream and in the dream Holy Spirit was driving this car and I was trying to change clothes Holy Spirit had given me clothes to change into and as the car was moving and I was trying to do too many things at once and I found it so hard to change in this dream and I spilt things in the car and the Lord spoke to me and he was saying that I have all these old clothes all all these things that I've struggled with that belonged to the old man the old sinful nature that's fallen from God and just things like rejection in a and I'm sure you guys can can relate but he was saying change change out of these old garments I have beautiful new garments for you to put on for where I'm taking you and the thing was that the car was moving and I was trying to do too many things and it was really hard for me to change in that place and I really felt like the Lord was saying not so much do less but more it's what you're doing is good is what he was telling me but more slow down and make sure to spend that intimate time with me so that what you're doing is an overflow like what I said earlier and he showed me that in a dream and I thought that was really amazing and as I was praying into that and praying into how how I should bring in the New Year the Lord showed me myself and wrapped up super super tight in this little cocoon and the cocoon was him I was just so wrapped up in who he was and I felt like the Lord invited me to instead of doing so many things like I usually do on New Year's he was like would you just be one-on-one with me would you just be wrapped up and intimacy with me and I really feel like that is the call of his heart to us in this time just to find that intimate closeness that first love with him again and I wanted to share this quote by Martha Kilpatrick and she said activity can shield you from it spare you and protect you from that awful gaze on your ugly nothingness activity can mask an empty soul and give you a fake costume of nobility but to face God when he calls your name takes more grit than mere toil more sweat than projects and to care for nothing except him no one but him is a reduction that means labor and to the very death Mary did it so my prayer that we would return to have hearts like Mary that would just sit with Jesus and adore him and the intimate and close with him and allow him slow down enough and spend enough time with him to allow him to do the deep work that he wants to do in the change that he wants to bring about in us so that we would overflow from that place so I just hope you guys have a very Merry Christmas at the feet of Jesus and I wish you all a very happy new year filled with intimacy with him